Prelude to a Triathlon

Dear Diary,
I’ve been feeling a little neglected lately – my girlfriends have been so busy swimming, biking and running (they’re training for a Triathlon) that I’ve been shoved into a dark closet for several weeks now. A closet is NO PLACE for Lance Bass! But I understand... I can’t wait for the Tri so they can go back to paying attention to what’s really important…ME! I hope they’ll bring me to watch them race on Saturday (ok, so I wouldn’t be watching THEM necessarily, but watching the hot young men in Speedo’s - there are going to be guys there, right??). But I have to say, I’m incredibly proud of my girls for all the hard work they’ve put in training for their first Tri. I mean, the only Tri I would ever think about doing would involve Dancing, Drinking, and…well…another word ending in ‘ing. Got to hand it to them, these are some TUFF chicks. Ladies, good luck this weekend; may the force be with you, but most importantly – HAVE FUN and enjoy those finish line beverages!! I'll be downing a few Appletinis in your honor. Lots of Love, Lance.

Y M C A Don't You Just Love that Song?

I couldn't wait to go to the YMCA.  I thought I was going to get to hang out with all the boys.  Then we were all going to get clean and do whatever we feel.  NOPE!  Instead I got left it a locker  while the ladies went to some fitness class - I'm sure there was lots of hot sweaty boys in the class but I was stuck in a locker.  (Sorry to repeat but I was very tramatized)  Thought Slavemaster Sheila was going make it up to me by taking me into the Boys Shower Room but I was forced to watch The Slavemaster take a shower instead.

 
Young man, there's no need to feel down
I said young man, pick yourself off the ground
I said young man, 'cause your in a new town
There's no need to be unhappy

Young man, there's a place you can go
I said young man, when you're short on your dough
You can stay there and I'm sure you will find
Many ways to have a good time

It's fun to stay at the Y.M.C.A
It's fun to stay at the Y.M.C.A
They have everything for young men to enjoy
You can hang out with all the boys

It's fun to stay at the Y.M.C.A.
It's fun to stay at the Y.M.C.A.
You can get yourself clean you can have a good meal
You can do whatever you feel

My Sweet Ride to the OP

Decided to take a breather from all the girls and head out to the great OP, KS. Anyway, found this sweet ride in the parking garage at Hallmark and decided to give it a try. Let me tell you, it was........well, creepy. You'll just have to see for yourself.

Happy Birthday to Me!

happy birthday to me,
happy birthday to me,
happy birthday to lancey,
happy birthday to me!

...and I don't look a day over 21!

Yep, today is a VERY important day.....the day I was born of course! I know, I know, people everywhere are celebrating in my honor! So as a special treat, my lady friends took me to the Smithville Lake trails for my celebration. I'm pretty sure the entire night was planned and executed especially for me! It started off with a little gift from a dear friend of mine. I LOoooVe it!!! My very own mini poster of Edward. I decided to keep him tucked into my skirt all evening......I mean hEllO, if you had Edward, where else would you possibly keep him????? Thank you Mistress Sheila!!!

Um, GuRoss!!!

Well, at least I got to hang out with some very cool people who all wore skirts in my honor!

And then I enjoyed some fine beverages, two-fisted style.

I think I've found my people!

Back to Columbia I Go!!!!!

Well, here I am again.....Columbia, MO for another race. I had fewer reservations this time as I remember the steamy, little boys that ran past me hour after hour, Bay Watch style! But as always, I was forced to stay in a room with the girls and their dirty little bikes. What's a pint-sized guy to do?





The girls decided to go to be crazy early, I'm talking Grandma early! But it's all good, cuz they tucked me right in to my very own bed with the luscious little villains from Batman! Somehow I woke up in bed with Skulls the next morning......I really have to stop waking up next to these women. Ugh!






So the next day, we all get up at the crack of dawn to go to the race. Skulls let me ride on her bike for awhile and let me tell you, if you ever have the opportunity to do so......DON'T. That crazy woman has no control over her dual-wheeled vehicle!





Overall I had a good time, but maybe my next trip could involve a little more boy action, but whatever. See ya next time!

What A Long Strange Trip Its Been – My Journey to the Left Coast

Yay! FINALLY a trip to California – where I can really let my Freak Flag Fly! Hey fellas, check out my hot pink feather boa beard…!

I took the train across country; a gorgeous two-day train ride starting in Omaha and passing through Denver, Grand Junction, Salt Lake City, Reno/Tahoe, Sacramento, and finally arriving in Oakland!

"Well I'm going out West where I belong; Where the days are short and the nights are long; When I walk, and They walk; I Twist, and They Twist; I Shimmy, and They Shimmy; I fly, and They fly; We're out there having fun…in the warm California sun."

After two days on the train, boy was I exhausted! But that didn’t slow me down! Spent the next couple days hiking! Hiked the Berkeley Hills one day and Point Reyes the next day!

After a long couple days of hiking, and surviving my first wildcat encounter (by hiding behind Masher), went home and relaxed with some home brew! And yes, I AM a "Beer Keg Cowboy". Um fellas, I hope that stuff’s medicinal…….right?!?!?

The next day I spent a full day biking the Bay Trail with my new friend Chris and my old friend Masher! (Well, actually I rode side-saddle with Masher while SHE biked the bay trail.) It was soooo much fun! I heart biking. I really do.

On the bike ride, I spotted a really neat store.

The following day, I went to San Francisco, the Mecca. Unfortunately, it was actually quite boring; though (surprisingly) I did not visit the Castro District this trip. I did however get the token Golden Gate Bridge picture and stopped by In & Out Burger.

Ok. Northern CA has been fun, but it's time for some warm Southern California Sun! Flew down to Chino Hills, a suburb of LA to visit my good friends Rumble-Kill-Skin and Jess-Sika-Ya-Face! Boy did we have FUN! First of all, I spent time playing on the playground…wee!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And then laid out soaking up the sun! And finally slammed some Boba Tea!

But the real fun came when the four of us went to a lively and hilarious Piano Bar! We had White Russians, Long Islands, Cranberry Long Islands, Sexes on the Beaches, JaegerBombs, and more…as the night rolled on, we got a little goofy! I requested the song Tiny Dancer, because that’s, like, my people’s anthem – bobbles all over the world live by that anthem! And guess what?!?! When they played that song (just for me!) I went up on stage, and the piano man SANG to me!!! I sat on his piano and looked him in his dreamy eyes, and it was AWESOME!!! I AM a Tiny Dancer! By the way, what a coincidence, there was another guy in the club with a pink feather boa! HOT! He even did a dance on stage! That night I laughed so hard, my drink came out my nose---several times! Good times!

Tiny Dancer in My Hand…Hold me closer tiny dancer; Count the headlights on the highway; Lay me down in sheets of linen; you had a busy day today.

The next day I was only slightly hung over, but I couldn’t let that stop me: it was 88 and sunny! We hiked Mt. Baldy (a strenuous climb) for some breathtaking vistas.

Well, I’d love to stay longer; I’m becoming quite the flower child. But my people in KC need me. Sooo, back to the Midwest we go. Hugs and Kisses, Lance