Y M C A Don't You Just Love that Song?

I couldn't wait to go to the YMCA.  I thought I was going to get to hang out with all the boys.  Then we were all going to get clean and do whatever we feel.  NOPE!  Instead I got left it a locker  while the ladies went to some fitness class - I'm sure there was lots of hot sweaty boys in the class but I was stuck in a locker.  (Sorry to repeat but I was very tramatized)  Thought Slavemaster Sheila was going make it up to me by taking me into the Boys Shower Room but I was forced to watch The Slavemaster take a shower instead.

 
Young man, there's no need to feel down
I said young man, pick yourself off the ground
I said young man, 'cause your in a new town
There's no need to be unhappy

Young man, there's a place you can go
I said young man, when you're short on your dough
You can stay there and I'm sure you will find
Many ways to have a good time

It's fun to stay at the Y.M.C.A
It's fun to stay at the Y.M.C.A
They have everything for young men to enjoy
You can hang out with all the boys

It's fun to stay at the Y.M.C.A.
It's fun to stay at the Y.M.C.A.
You can get yourself clean you can have a good meal
You can do whatever you feel

My Sweet Ride to the OP

Decided to take a breather from all the girls and head out to the great OP, KS. Anyway, found this sweet ride in the parking garage at Hallmark and decided to give it a try. Let me tell you, it was........well, creepy. You'll just have to see for yourself.

Happy Birthday to Me!

happy birthday to me,
happy birthday to me,
happy birthday to lancey,
happy birthday to me!

...and I don't look a day over 21!

Yep, today is a VERY important day.....the day I was born of course! I know, I know, people everywhere are celebrating in my honor! So as a special treat, my lady friends took me to the Smithville Lake trails for my celebration. I'm pretty sure the entire night was planned and executed especially for me! It started off with a little gift from a dear friend of mine. I LOoooVe it!!! My very own mini poster of Edward. I decided to keep him tucked into my skirt all evening......I mean hEllO, if you had Edward, where else would you possibly keep him????? Thank you Mistress Sheila!!!

Um, GuRoss!!!

Well, at least I got to hang out with some very cool people who all wore skirts in my honor!

And then I enjoyed some fine beverages, two-fisted style.

I think I've found my people!

Back to Columbia I Go!!!!!

Well, here I am again.....Columbia, MO for another race. I had fewer reservations this time as I remember the steamy, little boys that ran past me hour after hour, Bay Watch style! But as always, I was forced to stay in a room with the girls and their dirty little bikes. What's a pint-sized guy to do?





The girls decided to go to be crazy early, I'm talking Grandma early! But it's all good, cuz they tucked me right in to my very own bed with the luscious little villains from Batman! Somehow I woke up in bed with Skulls the next morning......I really have to stop waking up next to these women. Ugh!






So the next day, we all get up at the crack of dawn to go to the race. Skulls let me ride on her bike for awhile and let me tell you, if you ever have the opportunity to do so......DON'T. That crazy woman has no control over her dual-wheeled vehicle!





Overall I had a good time, but maybe my next trip could involve a little more boy action, but whatever. See ya next time!

What A Long Strange Trip Its Been – My Journey to the Left Coast

Yay! FINALLY a trip to California – where I can really let my Freak Flag Fly! Hey fellas, check out my hot pink feather boa beard…!

I took the train across country; a gorgeous two-day train ride starting in Omaha and passing through Denver, Grand Junction, Salt Lake City, Reno/Tahoe, Sacramento, and finally arriving in Oakland!

"Well I'm going out West where I belong; Where the days are short and the nights are long; When I walk, and They walk; I Twist, and They Twist; I Shimmy, and They Shimmy; I fly, and They fly; We're out there having fun…in the warm California sun."

After two days on the train, boy was I exhausted! But that didn’t slow me down! Spent the next couple days hiking! Hiked the Berkeley Hills one day and Point Reyes the next day!

After a long couple days of hiking, and surviving my first wildcat encounter (by hiding behind Masher), went home and relaxed with some home brew! And yes, I AM a "Beer Keg Cowboy". Um fellas, I hope that stuff’s medicinal…….right?!?!?

The next day I spent a full day biking the Bay Trail with my new friend Chris and my old friend Masher! (Well, actually I rode side-saddle with Masher while SHE biked the bay trail.) It was soooo much fun! I heart biking. I really do.

On the bike ride, I spotted a really neat store.

The following day, I went to San Francisco, the Mecca. Unfortunately, it was actually quite boring; though (surprisingly) I did not visit the Castro District this trip. I did however get the token Golden Gate Bridge picture and stopped by In & Out Burger.

Ok. Northern CA has been fun, but it's time for some warm Southern California Sun! Flew down to Chino Hills, a suburb of LA to visit my good friends Rumble-Kill-Skin and Jess-Sika-Ya-Face! Boy did we have FUN! First of all, I spent time playing on the playground…wee!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And then laid out soaking up the sun! And finally slammed some Boba Tea!

But the real fun came when the four of us went to a lively and hilarious Piano Bar! We had White Russians, Long Islands, Cranberry Long Islands, Sexes on the Beaches, JaegerBombs, and more…as the night rolled on, we got a little goofy! I requested the song Tiny Dancer, because that’s, like, my people’s anthem – bobbles all over the world live by that anthem! And guess what?!?! When they played that song (just for me!) I went up on stage, and the piano man SANG to me!!! I sat on his piano and looked him in his dreamy eyes, and it was AWESOME!!! I AM a Tiny Dancer! By the way, what a coincidence, there was another guy in the club with a pink feather boa! HOT! He even did a dance on stage! That night I laughed so hard, my drink came out my nose---several times! Good times!

Tiny Dancer in My Hand…Hold me closer tiny dancer; Count the headlights on the highway; Lay me down in sheets of linen; you had a busy day today.

The next day I was only slightly hung over, but I couldn’t let that stop me: it was 88 and sunny! We hiked Mt. Baldy (a strenuous climb) for some breathtaking vistas.

Well, I’d love to stay longer; I’m becoming quite the flower child. But my people in KC need me. Sooo, back to the Midwest we go. Hugs and Kisses, Lance

Eureka Springs, Arkansas - March 2011

This past weekend I went with my girlfriends, Scarlet Skulls and Masher (and many more beautiful people) to Eureka Springs, Arkansas for a weekend of mountain biking fun. Well, THEY went for mountain biking. I went for Eureka Gras - an Ozark version of Mardi Gras promising hordes of southern drag queens on parade. I just love a good parade, and drag queens are my weakness. It started off great. We went to a hip restaurant called Sparky’s which had the CUTEST waiter in all of Ozarkland - Bobby. I decided to ditch the girls and head to the Eureka Gras parties.


So I formulated a carefully laid escape plan: while the ladies were sipping their beers I glamoured them – making them forget I was even there. It worked! They were on their way out of the restaurant, leaving me behind and everything was going as planned; then I felt ‘Hot Waiter Bobby’ put his muscular arm around my waist and pick me up (wow, I couldn’t have planned this better if I tried!). However, the night took a turn for the worst - rather than stashing me in his pocket and taking me home for the night, Hot Waiter Bobby caught the girls as they were leaving the restaurant and told them they forgot their ‘bobblehead’. WTF!?! So Bobby ruined my great escape and instead I headed back with the girls to our cabin in the woods; not quite the night I had in mind, but what can you do?

When we got back to the cabin I wasn't in the best of moods, as you can imagine, but this light little piece of reading left behind in the cabin soon set my spirits high again.

These ladies sure do get me out of my comfort zone– we stayed in this super-cozy, cute cabin and they stored their dirty, filthy mountain bikes in the KITCHEN for Gods’ sake. I guess that’s what you get when you hang out with girls with names like Scarlet Skulls and Masher.

The next day we hiked. And then we mountain biked. And then we ate. And then we mountain biked more. I was fairly sore by the end of the day - my whole backside really took a pounding biking up and down those rocky hills. I have to say, it was super fun though. I’m beginning to really enjoy mountain biking.


Can you even see me on this table o'crap. And I thought women were neat and tidy...ha!

The whole mountain bike group got together that night for a pasta & beer dinner. I felt really at home being around guys in skirts. Maybe I should start hanging out with this skirt-wearing group more often.

At some point in the night I must have slept walked. All I know is that I was dreaming of cuddling with Drag Queen Peggy (the Queen of Arkansas); yet I woke up cuddling next to Masher. She awoke the same time I did and we both screamed! Neither of us expected to be sharing a bed with one another. I have absolutely no recollection of how I got there. After the initial shock, we both started laughing. Overall, it was a super fun trip and I’m ready for some more Southern Eye Candy – hope to go back again soon. Well…onto my next adventure….